I'm also new to blogging. I have several friends who write brilliant and popular blogs about a variety of subjects and do so with such flair and success that I was happy to remain just an enthusiastic and supportive reader. Actually if I'm completely honest I didn't really have anything I felt I needed to write about. I have interests and passions like anyone else, but writing about them would eventually bore the shit out of ME, let alone other people.
However, back in January of this year my husband and I discovered that we would be welcoming a little person into the world this in October. A planned little person who we are very excited to meet and who we talked about creating for a long time before the two weeks of trying resulted in a positive test. (yes...two weeks) I had been mentally preparing for that day for a number of years but nothing can really prepare you for the moment you see the word 'pregnant' pop up on the little screen. A fact further emphasised by the amount of times I say "holy shit!" in the video I made of that exact moment.
And so I finally found something to write about because there is no getting away from being pregnant. You cant have a day off.
Now before you sigh deeply and switch your brain off, let me reassure you that this will not be one of those 'helpful' pregnancy blogs which talks about it being a miraculous journey. (puke) Don't get me wrong. I realise that I am very lucky to be pregnant and for it to have happened naturally and so quickly however, I should warn you up front about a few things. I am an adult which means that I do swear where I feel it is necessary. If you are below 18 or it offends you, then go get yourself a copy of Harry Potter instead. This blog is not for you.
I will also talk VERY openly and candidly about some of the joys of pregnancy. Off the top of my head constipation, pains, puking, lack of sleep and dreams of being invaded by an alien. If you are offended by this or you change the channel when 'Embarrassing Bodies' comes on the box the this blog is not for you. (I'm not planning to post any pictures of anything gross! Christ, nobody wants to see that!)
Now that that's out of the way I can start my first blog post. (As you can tell from the title I think that sarcasm passes for wit.)
I am 24 weeks + 4 days pregnant or six months if you prefer to think of it like that. In that 24 weeks I have learnt of an interesting (bloody annoying) phenomenon. When you get pregnant, women from all walks of life will openly and happily and in some cases forcibly tell you their 'birth story'. The story of what happened to them during the birth of each of their little people. It is never EVER a nice story because the nice "two hours and he was out" stories are apparently not worth telling. Although one would argue that those are probably the stories that a pregnant person would want to hear the most!
Honestly it's a crazy thing that I perhaps naively didn't expect would happen. I have learnt of their episiotomy gone wrong, exploding amniotic sacks and blood clots the size of grapefruits hitting doctors scrubs with a splat. All told with a strange and unnerving enthusiasm. I have been trapped in social situations where people chat contentedly around me whilst I am forced to listen to a good 45 minute tale with such delightful details.
If you too have encountered such a phenomenon then you will know that what comes with it is a whole load of useful (never asked for) advice. Why I shouldn't EVER have an epidural. How I should only opt for unassisted home births because and I quote "fucking midwives don't have a clue" (someone actually said that to me) How NCT classes are not worth it or absolutely essential. How if I have pain relief I will burn in hell for all eternity!!!
OK, so that last one might be a little bit fabricated but you get the idea. The truth is I don't want to bloody know! Please, PLEASE stop telling me your birth stories. You are sharing too much. Talk to me about the new Star Trek movie or what classic car you would buy if you won the lottery. These are things I am interested in. I am not JUST pregnant.
Unless of course I ask you to tell me. In which case you may take that as a good indication that I want to know.
Annnnnnnnd breath.........
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